Becoming a woman one pair of shoes at a time

Trying to be a woman is tough when you are an overweight middle school girl. For me, shoes were the gateway to womanhood. Shoes always fit, shoes aren't designed for size 2 ladies. Shoes have moods and flare and a personality all their own. I remember buying shoes for my dad's second wedding. I did not want to go to this wedding and I felt awkward and out of place, but putting on a pair of low kitten heels made me feel a little powerful and a little grown up and able to handle the bullshit that was my dad getting remarried only days after his divorce was final to my mom.

I thought of shoes as comfort and as empowering for a long time. I never had a dream body that I could wrap in a tiny black dress or skin-tight tank tops but I could rock a cute wedge, a two-toned stilleto and so badass Vans. 

Shoes are camaflouge and shoes are prompts. I wore lots of different kinds of shoes to begin to play all the parts I needed to play as I was growing up - student, date, church goer, college girl, club attendee, etc. 

On a side note I had a $200 wedding dress but felt I needed to buy two pairs of shoes for the backyard wedding. One was a peep toe heel for style and one was a golden, sparkly Cinderella-esque ballet flat for comfort.

Shoes are a cliche of womanhood for a reason - at least in my case.